Double Trouble
by Xenolord
Summary: Jessie and James are out once more to steal Pikachu from Ash. The extent they'll go to now will leave five rotting corpses in their wake. M for language and angst.


Disclaimer: I do not own Team Rocket, Jessie, James, Meowth, or Pokemon for that matter. I just really freakin' love Team Rocket. They are so mis-understood.

Team Rocket: Double Trouble

The night air was a calm relief to James. Once again, the two senior members of Team Rocket were forced to sleep out in the yard of Boss Rocket's hideout. It was cold, and one could almost see the icicles on James' ears and nose. He had let Jessie have the one blanket Boss Rocket found in his heart to give them, so he was left to rough it out.

"Those blasted kids..." He thought, remembering back to their latest attempt to capture the elusive Pikachu. "Everything we do, they somehow find a way to best us..." He stood up from his sitting position and began to pace a line in the grass. He had to think up something to capture that little yellow rat, he was loosing sleep over it. And it showed. His eyes were bloodshot and huge red bags hung under on his cheeks. Meowth was sound asleep curled up next to Jessie, and he was struck with a sudden stroke of genius.

Quietly, he strode up to Jessie, muttered a quiet 'sorry about this' and pulled the blanket off her, and tossed it aside. He picked up Meowth, wrapped him up in the blanket and tied it off, dropping it under a nearby tree. He then picked the sleeping Jessie up, carried her to a different tree, and tied her up with a piece of rope he had.

"It's PERFECT!" He shouted full blast. Jessie steadily began to come to. She very quickly realized she was tied up.

"James. You've got six seconds to untie me before I start wounding you." She droned groggily.

"Don't worry, Jessie! You have just helped me complete my ultimate plan. It's so perfect, it's dastardly!"

"Okay. Explain this plan, THEN untie me before I start wounding you." She replied struggling to get loose. James ducked behind the tree where he had tied to knot, and began to undo it.

"Okay. Here's the plan. We follow the brats until they rest for the night. We then check into the same inn disguised and under alias'. Then, we send Meowth to find their room number. Then, we break into their room, tie the three of them up, gag the Pikachu, stuff the rat into a rubber-lined bag, and run back to the boss. He'll be ecstatic! We'll be heroes and icons to Team Rocket everywhere! Think about it, Jessie! No more sleeping in the cold! We can have king and queen sized beds!"

"Speaking of Meowth, where is he?" She asked, looking around, her eyes finally falling on the bed sheet. "James. You didn't!" She got up and opened the makeshift bag. The cat was still sound asleep. Jessie took him out and woke him up.

"Eh? Huh who what? What's happening?" Meowth asked, looking about and rubbing his eyes. "Jessie! What's the big idea wakin' me up, huh!" He shouted.

"Would you relax, Meowth. James here just had an excellent plan that will get us back into the good eyes of the Boss." The pink-haired Jessie smiled deviously, her eyes shining with bad intent. "Oh, how can a good looking girl like me turn out so bad, yet have it feel so good?" She giggled at their plan.

"So, we gonna tell the Boss?" Meowth asked, stretching. James shook his head, despite the fact he was deep in thought.

"No. I want this to be a complete surprise to even Boss Rocket. Come on! Let's get going!"

"Now?" Jessie asked, looking at her watch. It read five thirty. "It's five in the morning." James bent down and grabbed her hands, hoisting her up.

"You want to be famous, right?" He asked. She nodded. "You want to be a hero and icon to Team Rocket everywhere, right?" Again, she nodded. "Then there's no better time to put this plan into motion then now! Besides...we need to find out where the brats are staying, so we can follow them this morning. Meowth! We'll need a few things from the Boss first. You're in charge of getting them."

"Sure thing, James! Whaddaya need?" The Pokemon answered, saluting.

"Okay..first, we'll need rope and..."

The next morning, around noon.

"Are you absolutely sure they're going to be coming down this way, James?" Jessie questioned, looking down the road.

"Positive. Remember. We are no longer members of Team Rocket. We quit. We just want to follow them around a bit, see how they play. Where'd you stash our uniforms, by the way?" James asked, looking her in the eyes.

"Under a rock Meowth holed out with a label reading "Property of Team Rocket." Don't worry, it's out of the way." She responded, grabbing the pack from the floor. Inside was everything needed to execute this plan flawlessly. Someway down the path, Meowth picked up the sullen sounds of three pairs of foot steps.

"Alright, you two! Quite yer yapping! Here they come!" He jumped onto Jessie's head. The two had changed their appearance quite dramatically. Jessie had put her hair down out of her usual obscure style, as so it now ran half way down her back. James couldn't change his style, so he simply kept it the same. They were both wearing different clothes. James had a pair of blue jeans and a white button down shirt on. Jessie had a red oriental-style dress and two red earrings. James could just barely make out the top of Misty's head as they began to crest the hill.

"Alright, start walking. Slow, remember." James droned, starting to walk their way. Jessie and Meowth followed at the same pace.

The three kids, Ash, Misty and Brock were just on the top of the hill when Misty recognized the three people walking towards them.

"Hey, Ash...Isn't that..."

"Team Rocket." Ash responded, his eyes narrowing. "How many times are they going to try."

"Remember, Jessie, don't acknowledge them, just keep walking." James muttered. She responded with a quiet 'um-hum'. Ash had stopped mid-stride, preparing for a battle. His hopes were dashed, however as the three just strode past, not even making any notice of them.

"Uh...Hello! I'm here!" Ash shouted their way. James stopped, cracked a slight smile, and turned, the smile fading.

"Wha? Oh. It's only you. Sorry, did you want something?" James questioned, looking at Ash.

"Aren't you going to try to capture Pikachu?" He asked.

"Heavens no! That little thing has already cost us our jobs. I don't want to risk anything else to it." James replied, turning back down the road.

"Well, why don't you come with us? You can't just be forever wondering the paths...We have to find you new jobs..." Misty smiled.

"Uh...Misty...They're Team Rocket...Can they be trusted?"

"WERE Team Rocket. Apparently, our last failure was literally our last failure. We'd be forever grateful if you would let us follow you...at least for the day." Jessie replied, a sign of almost genuine groveling in her voice.

"Well...I suppose. But no funny business. Or else." Ash replied, turning away from Jessie and James. The blue haired man smiled.

"Thank you for your kindness. You won't be sorry." They turned back around and followed the group of three for the day.

The sun began to set over the horizon, and the fatigue Ash was feeling was conveyed by his insentient yawning.

"Ash...maybe we should find a place to bunk up for the night, continue in the morning." Brock muttered. Ash let out another yawn, and agreed.

"I think Fuchsia City is ahead...we can stay there for the night. Maybe head over to Cinnabar Island in the morning." James suggested. Misty nodded along with Ash.

"It's settled then. We must make haste, and get to Fuchsia before it gets much darker!" Ash declared, and dashed off towards the city gates, Jessie and James bringing up the rear.

They had reached the inn with only several seconds left to spare. The street lights were all on, and the Inn Keeper was just about to close up when she saw the six come charging down the path. She kept the door open long enough for them to run in.

"Squeaking in you guys. Just about to close the door on you. Need a room?"

"Yes, please." Ash replied, pulling his wallet out.

"Certainly. All of you together, or separate?" She inquired, walking to her computer.

"Separate, please." Jessie pipped up, smiling. Ash and James nodded in agreement.

"Okay. Follow me, please." She lead the three down the hallway to two rooms, one on each side of the hall. "These are the two rooms we have available, so feel free to pick one.

"Left side!" Jessie and James shouted simultaneously. Ash shrugged and took the right door, Misty and Brock in tow.

"So what now?" Meowth asked as the door locked. James smiled, straightened the sheets on the bed and threw himself down. Jessie sat on the other bed.

"Now my friend, we wait for the rats to go to sleep, then move in." He stood up and opened the window, looking out. "You've got an important job, Meowth. I want you to crawl out the window and check on them periodically. When you're positive they're all asleep, come back and tell us."

"Got it." He crawled through the window and disappeared on the roof.

"Scizor, time to wake up, buddy." James muttered, opening a Pokeball in his hand. The red insectasoid Pokemon was curled in a ball, sound asleep. As he completely materialized, his pincers came up into a stretch.

"Sci?" It questioned, looking at James. He was about to speak when Jessie interrupted him.

"When in the hell did you get a Scizor?" She asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Er...a while ago. When you were asleep. Anyways, Scizor, I need you to fly back down the path east outta town and get our uniforms back. You should sense them before you see them."

"Scizor!" It replied, diving out the window, hitting the ground with a barrel roll, and running off.

"Fast little bugger, isn't he?" Jessie muttered.

"Hey, guys. The brats are asleep. They must really have been wiped." Meowth poked his head from the top of the window and entered. Jessie looked puzzled.

"Wow. Already? Should we prepare, James?" The pink-haired Jessie asked, opening the backpack.

"Yea. Okay, get the ether, duct tape, rubber gloves and rope out, and set it on the ground. See what we're left with after that." Jessie did as she was told, and then poured the remainder of the contence onto the bed. All that was left was several spare Pokeballs and a bag of money. A rock flew in through the window and landed right onto James' bed. Two red pincer claws gripped the sil of the window, and Scizor hoisted himself up. He jumped in through the window and sat at James' feet, looking up to him.

"Good, boy, Scizor! Good boy!" He spoke, stroking the creature's chitinous head. It seemed to almost purr in delight. James grabbed the rock and opened it. Sure enough, there were the two's Team Rocket uniforms. James tossed Jessie hers and took his own. "Now, the fun begins." He muttered, pulling his shirt off.

Later

The door creaked open. It was dark, and the only light that could be seen was the light from the Inn Keeper's room. They could hear the distinct sounds of the television on, more specifically the 'Uh! Oh!' of a pornographic movie. Apparently, the Inn Keeper was a pervert. James got as low to the ground as possible and still remain standing, and crouch-walked across the hall to Ash's room.

"Scizor. Get the lock!" James whispered to the red Scizor, who reached across James' shoulder, took the lock in one pincer and broke it off in a quick, silent twist. The door opened easily. "Excellent. Let's do this." He pushed the door in wider and slipped in, Meowth, Jessie and Scizor in tow.

Brock we snoring loud enough to wake the living dead. Both Ash and Misty were sound asleep. The girl had somehow migrated over to Ash's bed, and had her arms wrapped around him. Pikachu was sleeping on the window sill above Ash's bed. The trainer's belt of Pokeballs was hanging on the bedpost, a catch ripe for the taking. "Grab the belt."

"Got it." Meowth responded, putting the stolen belt in the bag. "Need the gloves, James?" He squeaked near-breathlessly. The blue-haired Rocket replied with a nod, and a hand twisted behind him. Meowth grabbed the gloves and placed them in his hand, where he promptly put them on. His stance was that of Indian Jones trying to grab the gold idol from the temple of doom as he reached for the small yellow mouse. With one hand poised over it's tiny mouth, and the other ready to grab it's neck, he moved quickly, cupping it's mouth and grabbing it's neck in one move. The mouse woke up to see James sneer.

"Gotcha, ya little asswipe." He hissed. Jessie smiled. The Pikachu tried to cry, but James' hand stopped any and all sound. It couldn't even electrocute him. As silently as he entered, he crept out and back to his room, leaving Jessie to mop up.

From her skirt's waistband, she produced a nice nine millimeter Braddock handgun, and from her stocking, a silencer. She quickly screwed the silencer on and, moving on her knees, pressed the end of the barrel lightly to Misty's head. James was not ten feet away, and he couldn't here the shot. She finished the job with one shot each to Ash's and Brock's head. Three cold, efficient kills. She quickly, yet properly dis-assembled the gun, put the silencer back in her stocking and the gun back in the waistband of her skirt, stood, and walked out of the room, leaving the door wide open.

"Don't take that apart quite yet, Jessie. We may need it getting out. How's your ammo holding out?" James mused, his hand still over Pikachu's mouth.

"I've still got three in my sleeve, one in each stocking and..." She looked down her bra. "Like, five left there, so I'm good." She re-assembled the gun and smiled.

"Great. Let's make our escape out the door." They walked towards the front door , but were stopped by a woman in a skin-tight blue police officer uniform. "Fuck..." James muttered.

"Hold it right there, Team Rocket. You're not going anywhere. I've caught you in the midst of a Pokemon heist." Jenny stated, her arms crossed.

"Trust us, dear. You caught us in the midst of much more then that. Jessie, make this bitch in the past tense." James droned. Jessie nodded, leveled the pistol and fired twice, both shots hitting her chest. She fell over on the ground with a thud. The sound from the television died, and a door began opening.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" The voice of the Inn Keeper called. Footsteps were coming down the hall. James ducked behind the counter, the little yellow Pikachu still in his hands, while Jessie dove behind the wall, waiting. "Oh my god! Jenny! Are you alright!" She asked, running to the dead officer's aid.

"Don't move one muscle." Jessie whispered, pressing the gun to the back of her head. Her hands instictivly when up. "We're going to walk out the front door. I don't want you, or anyone else following us, understand?" She nodded, a slight whimper in her voice.

"Uh, Jessie. Remember what I said would be a good idea?" James asked, standing.

"Oh yea. That." She droned, pulling the trigger. The Inn Keeper slumped over the body of Officer Jenny. "Now, let's get outta here, and make for Boss Rocket's place. We're almost there, I can taste it!" She grabbed the gun from Jenny's holster, putting it in her waistband.

"Scizor, the door!" James commanded. "Jessie, hand me that back, would you?" Jessie reached into the backpack and pulled out a burlap back, opening it up. "Alright you little cretin, in you go!" James muttered, stuffing Pikachu in the bag. The first thing it did was try to fry the back. "Good luck with that. That bag has rubber fibers woven in. Rubber, as you know, is immune to electricity." Scizor kicked the door down as James was saying this. Glass shards flew out, littering the path ahead. They both made their escape into the woods.

As they ran off into the night, they started to laugh about their deeds. They had done it. They had actually captured the Pikachu the Boss wanted. He'd be pleased with them for once, and hopefully, offer them better positions. Their excitement got the better of them, and all three of them began to sing in unison:

"Prepare for trouble! Make it double! To protect the world from devastation! To unite all peoples withing our nation! To denounce the evils of truth and love! To extend our reach to the stars above! Jessie! James! Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light! Surrender now, or prepare to fight! Meowth, that's right!" The repeated their chorus several times, and then shouted full spread "LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN TO NEW HIGHTS! NEW POSSIBILITES! BETTER SLEEPING CONDITIONS!"

The Next Morning.

"I'm tired of waiting, Cassidy! I want that Pikachu, and if you can't do it, no one can! GET IT DONE!" Boss Rocket shouted at Butch and Cassidy as they stood. "And find Jessie and James, too!" He added as they started to leave.

"No need for that sir! For here we are!" James announced, kicking the door open, sliding to a stop.

"Well, look who decided to join the party. Another failure from the failures?" Butch taunted. James only walked past him and slammed his heel hard down on his foot. "WOW!" He called, clasping his foot in pain.

"Boss. A present for you. Courtesy of Jessie and James." Jessie cooed, presenting the bag. Before he took it, James pulled out some rubber gloves.

"May want to put these on, sir. He's a bit angry at the moment, and an angry battery is a bad thing." Boss Rocket took the gloves and put them on, taking the bag.

"CHU!" A voice called from inside, the bag surging with electrical energy.

"Did you...Is this...Pikachu?" He questioned, opening the bag and grabbing the mouse. A smile graced his face. "I don't believe it! You two bumblers...I mean...GENIOUSES actually pulled it off! How?"

"Well, sir..." Jessie began.

"If I may, Jessie." James interrupted. She nodded reluctantly. "Well, Boss, as we were sleeping two nights ago, or, as I should say, as I slept two nights ago, a grand idea hit Jessie. I woke up to being tied to a tree..." He told him the entire story, reversed, making it sound like it was all Jessie's idea.

"Ingenious, Jessie! Pure genius!" Boss Rocket shouted, opening his arms. "You two have done me a great favor! How can I repay it? Oh, wait, don't answer that. I know. You both are now promoted to Rocket Elites! Highest of all Team Rocket ranks!"

"Hey! That means they out-rank both of us! What gives?" Butch called, his foot still throbbing.

"Allow me to elaborate, Butch. While they began as being useless, they found use, and are being rewarded for it. Whereas you two are just plain useless." Butch's face said it all. It was an expression of 'crap, he's right.'. James smiled. "You two deserve a break. Here." He tossed Jessie a key. She caught it mid air. "This is the key to the upstairs suite. It's yours."

"Score! Thank you sir! You will not regret this!" Both Jessie and James stood, saluted, and ran out.

That Night

"You were right." Jessie muttered, laying in bed wearing a silk nightgown.

"'bout what?" Was James' response. He had both hands behind his head and was staring at the ceiling.

"You were right about us being heroes and icons to Team Rocket everywhere. Rocket Elites. Wow, that is one sexy title. But I've got a question." She muttered.

"Okay. Shoot." James replied, closing his eyes.

"Did you give me the credit for your idea just to get in my panites?" She responded, sitting up to look at him. Despite the nature of the question, he didn't flinch, he just layed there.

"That really all depends." He responded, cracking an eye open.

"Depend son what?"

"If it worked or not." She laughed at his joke, got out of her bed, walked around to his and layed next to him.

"It did..." She whispered into his ear.

End.

----Time for the Muses.----

Xenolord: SO! What does everyone think?

Jenna: BOOM! HEADSHOT!

Felix: M-m-m-monster kill! Kill...kill...kill...

Mia: I'm going to be different, and say damn good.

Picard: Very dark.

Xenolord: That's the point. Viva the angst.

Issac: I liked it.

Sheba: I can't believe you killed Ash, Misty and Brock!

Garet: Silly Jupiter Adept! He didn't kill them! Jessie did!

Jessie: Speaking of which, where'd I get a Braddock?

Xenolord: Boss Rocket had it. It was on the list to bring.

Ivan: Where'd James get a Scizor?

Xenolord: "A while ago." Let's leave it there.

Mia: "A While Ago", "Don't Ask", and "You Don't Want to Know" are literary devices to help cover up when the writer has no idea how'd something happen. In this case, Xeno didn't know how James got a Scizor, so it was "A while ago."

Xenolord: Nyexactly. Alright, tell me what you think!


End file.
